Thursday, October 8, 2015

Identity: A Parable

Hi, my name is Duncan, and I identify as Having a Boyfriend.

I don't actually have a boyfriend right now.  In fact I haven't had a boyfriend in over twenty years. But having a boyfriend is totally who I am.  Ever since I was very young I've wanted to have a boyfriend, so I know I was born this way.  Having a Boyfriend is my nature, whether I have a boyfriend or not.  Don't look at those little surface details.  What I do doesn't matter.  Look at my heart.  If you do, you'll see that in my innermost heart, I have a boyfriend.  It's who I am.

To tell you the truth, though, I've been doing some hard thinking lately.  I've begun to realize that I'm not really about Having a Boyfriend after all.  I'm really about Getting Married.  Back in primitive times there wasn't gay marriage, but now that there is, I'm coming out as wanting to have a husband.  This is really important to me.  It must have been in my DNA all along.

So from now on, I hope you all will respect my identity: I'm Married.  I don't have a husband yet, and really, having a husband seems like more trouble than it would be worth.  But you shouldn't have to have a husband to be married.  That's like going by heterosexual stereotypes.  Being Married is just who I am, whether I have a husband or not.  I might want to have a wedding, though, a big glamorous wedding in a church, like in Sex and the City: The Movie.  I'll have to think about it some more, but when I get it planned, I hope you all will attend.  And give me presents.  Because that's what weddings are all about.