Life in Your New Dollhouse
Living in a dollhouse presents several immediate problems.
First, one is constantly bumping the head on the tops of the doorways.
Second, there is never enough storage space.
Third, the beds and the bathtub are far too short.
Fourth, one must reckon with the one wall which is missing in all dollhouses, which means:
a) no privacy
b) hell to heat in the wintertime
c) extremely vulnerable to theft.
However, living in a dollhouse also presents a number of advantages.
First, it is very easy to keep the floors clean -- every room in the house can be cleaned in five minutes or less.
Second, it is very hard to lose anything, since there is nowhere to lose it.
Third, maintenance of your dollhouse's exterior is very cheap; a gallon of paint should last you a century.
Fourth, and finally, if you are careful that your dollhouse is well situated, you should have:
a) no airconditioning problem in summer
b) eternal vigilance made easy
c) a splendid view of the Grand Canyon.
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I don't seem to have a date for this poem, but I'm pretty sure I wrote it in South Bend in early 1971. I still like its surreal whimsy.
Living in a dollhouse presents several immediate problems.
First, one is constantly bumping the head on the tops of the doorways.
Second, there is never enough storage space.
Third, the beds and the bathtub are far too short.
Fourth, one must reckon with the one wall which is missing in all dollhouses, which means:
a) no privacy
b) hell to heat in the wintertime
c) extremely vulnerable to theft.
However, living in a dollhouse also presents a number of advantages.
First, it is very easy to keep the floors clean -- every room in the house can be cleaned in five minutes or less.
Second, it is very hard to lose anything, since there is nowhere to lose it.
Third, maintenance of your dollhouse's exterior is very cheap; a gallon of paint should last you a century.
Fourth, and finally, if you are careful that your dollhouse is well situated, you should have:
a) no airconditioning problem in summer
b) eternal vigilance made easy
c) a splendid view of the Grand Canyon.
---
I don't seem to have a date for this poem, but I'm pretty sure I wrote it in South Bend in early 1971. I still like its surreal whimsy.
